I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Randomize
