Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
im six kinds of drunk right now
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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