3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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