I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
