oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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