So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
