If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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