so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize