that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I want a musical about memes.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
