What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
