there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
