Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
