areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
