Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
