we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
