Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Swine flu. Run for my life!
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
