and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
