you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My vagina is officially offended.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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