just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
please come you make the beer taste better
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Just puked most of my soul out..
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