I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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