You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
