I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books