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You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.