Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.