I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
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I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
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Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.