I could have mohawked her pubes.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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