just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Randomize
