Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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