peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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