i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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