I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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