M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize