I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
