they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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