make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize