i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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