saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
