You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
