Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
