Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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