and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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