how can u be prego again
Pappa wants mamma naked
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
My ATM looks so different sober.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
