my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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