I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize