Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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