I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
