cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I don't deserve a penis
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
