so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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