apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
