I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
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When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
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YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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