Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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