You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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