I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize