she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
