I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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