sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
