we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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