Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
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