Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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