I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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