she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
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He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
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I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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