then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
