it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Randomize
