Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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