another moral hangover. fuck.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm like, not good at living.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
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