Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
