I hate all girls vehemently.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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