im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
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I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
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I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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