I want to stick my p in your. b.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
