You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I came so hard my ears popped.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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