I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
