And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Randomize
