On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
