Slut skills are useful in every country.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
