I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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