i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
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Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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