her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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