do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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