sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Of course I have a pirate flag
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
