dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
