Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
