Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
